Da Power of Kosko Band Dictionary

Entries Soon to Be Added:

newly added marching band terms!

Da Power of Kosko Band Dictionary

69:

A number constantly called out during warmup jumping-jacks. Anyone wonder why? *wink wink, hint hint*

Air:

Something that all band members (excluding trumpets) seem to lack

Air Support:

The technique created by evil band directors to make one feel as if they've done a couple hundred pushups.

Alto Saxophone:

1.) The real reason why Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares.

2.) A harsh sounding instrument that is useful for those who don't to be heard (unless they choose to be in jazz band)

Arm Circles:

The bane of all exsistance.

Assistant Drum Major:

Yells at people for the drum major when the drum major is not present to do the yelling themselves.

Attention:

Standing still, chins up, stick-out-your-butt, feet together, shoulders, hips, and anklebones in line, shoulders forward... shall i continue?

Auxillary:

See battery

Band Camp:

At Woodson, a rigorous 2-week training camp where one stands at attention for a good part of 4 hours, works on torturous drills, and sweats plenty. Slacks off during sectionals and full band practice inside.

Band Class:

Something to run to... or run away from.

Band Geek:

1.) Someone with a mad obsession over band class. Normally know everything about band and revel in it.

2.) One who can forge their band director's signature.

3.) One who's life is band. Eats, sleeps, and breaths band.

4.) Has no life whatsoever.

Band Parents:

Random mothers/fathers who do a great deal for the band, such as serving water, standing by on first-aid, watch band geeks endure torture in the hot sun...

Baritone Saxophone:

A very large sax that there are never too many of, even if made famous by Lisa Simpson.

Baritone:

For people who want to play tuba but are too lazy to actually pick up a tuba.

Bass Drum:

David Wells's "Precious"

Bass Clarinet:

When used properly, sounds like the low whistle of an oncoming freight train, if heard at all

Bass Flute:

An alternate to a cane.

Bassoon:

An instrument that is a cross between an oboe and a bass clarinet. Should never be given a solo due to the fact that half its notes don't come out most of the time.

Baton:

1.) The evil device wielded by directors. Sole purpose is to poke the eye out of whicever unlucky band member happens to be in it's path (usually a flute)

2.) The long thing Mr. Kosko stick between his teeth while looking through his score

3.) An infectious, disease-carrying weapon.

Battery:

The slowest moving members fo the band because of either the heavy bass drums and/or Scott Luxemberg.

Bell:

Something that all instruments hace (other than flute and piccolo, and maybe oboe if you consider it an actually bell.) When watching a show and the bells pop up, be ready to close your eardrums.

Bell Pop:

A precess where the bell of an instrument in shot up into the air towards the box/audience. Pops eardrums as well as bells.

Bonfire:

Easy way of celebrating the end of band camp.

Booyah! Who's Yo Daddy?!?!?!:

Best left unremembered (hehehe, see the Koskoisms page)

Brass:

Metallic instruments that use buzzing to generate sound. Very loud. Often, sitting in front of them (especially trumpets) will cause a temporary (occasionally permanent) misfunction of the ears.

Breathing Tube:

Object used to start a black market in band, supplying the band director with ample amounts of lunch money

Bus:

1.) The most uncomfortable way to watch a movie

2.) The most annoying way to fall asleep

3.) An easy way to get pistachio shells pelted at your head (Ross Davies).

Bus Bathroom:

Let's not go there.

Cadence:

An easy way to make people forget that the band messed up half the show.

Chalk:

Used to mark our spots. When washed away by a rainstorm, causes mass pandimonium.

Character:

Supposedly built up by standing outside in the scortching hot sun for long periods of time.

Clarinet:

The instrument designed to make one's shoulders. STILL point towards the endzone.

Color-Guard:

They swing around the flags and the rifles. In otherwords, they make the band look good. Normally get extra-credit if they hit a member of the band, as long as it's not the director. More points if they hit the drum-major or the percussion.

Conducting:

The comical act of the drum major/asst. drum major/conductor flaling their arms & spazzing wildly to the music.

Conductor:

1.) One who performs the act of conducting

2.) Comic relief for the band members

Dr. Beat:

1.) In the 2001 school year, a deviced of torture to the ears only surpassed by the tuning CD.

2.) It DIED THIS YEAR! *sniff* (sorry if that was random. ^_^)

English Horn:

1.) A large, oversized oboe with an unusually shaped bell. Often used to cause migranes

2.) A double reed instrument which creates a sound similar to that of a drowning, madly suffering, dying duck that's had an overdose recently

English Horn Smile:

An incredibly huge "fall off the face" ear to ear smile of Oboeboy's seen only on the day of the arrival of his English Horn

Flute:

A high-pitched intrsument more annoying than a fly in your ear. Can easily be made into two piccolos when snapped in half.

Glock:

A mini Dr. Beat only painful it held close to your ear.

Gong:

The Crazian (crazy asian) percussion instrument that can generate sobs of hysterical laughter if used to early or too late (see The Light Eternal)

Happy Skills:

An unusual term used to describe someone's intrumental "skill"

Koskoism:

The unusual, occasionally insulting, witty (that all depends of whether you think the quote, "Flutes, if you don't screw this, the trumpets will each pay you five bucks." is witty or not), comedic antics/quotes of out grand/slightly "special" band teacher, Mr. Kosko.

Light Eternal, The:

One of the Frost Symphonic Band's adjudicated pieces for the 2003 District Festival. Includes the greates mistake to all mankind (causing mad fits of laughter among Symphonic Band Members): a gong solo.

Marching Uniform:

1.) A very interesting assortment of garments which includes suspenders designed to provide a wedgie at all times, a jacket to make you feel as poofed up as a football player with shoulder pads, and a very large, ANNOYING feather (that costs more than the hat box) on the top of a rather large hat.

2.) A useful Halloween costume if ever needed

Music:

A combination of notes that make no sense whatsoever

Notes:

The little black dots that make music hard to read

Overtones:

1.) Something to yell out as a generic answer to any possible subject, as it is more likely then not correct.

2.) The answer to every and all school trivia questions

Percussion:

1.) The section of the band that can bang on stuff at the right time and pass the class

2.) A close cousin of the loud noise in the cafeteria

Tuba:

An excuse to get into band without being able to play an instrument.

Tuning CD:

A torture device used with a CD player designed to blast out the eardrums of anyone within a 5-mile radius

Created by HK (fluteygal), Dave (Oboeboy), Alex (no band nickname... yet... *evil laughter*), Scott (Krazy percussionist), and Tim (no gay band nickname). Thanks go out to anyone else I may have missed!